Making changes...

Just wanted to post a quick update!  After ten weeks of writing book reviews for the Examiner, I realized it was just not my bag.  I wasn't finding any joy in it, and I didn't feel like I was learning as much from the experience as I had expected.  But, as they say, everything happens for a reason.  A gentleman happened across one of my reviews and, after a random sequence of events, he and his wife- an author- named me as Senior Editor of the publishing company they recently started!  I had never before considered working in editing and was surprised when I really enjoyed going over their first published novel.  So I am really excited to start working with them.  Both of them are really great people, as well.  The name of the company is Tobias Books.  You can check out their website here:

Tobias Books    

Activating...

I am now fully activated!  Please check out my page at :

http://www.examiner.com/books-in-jacksonville/dewin-anguas-barnette

Bookmark it, send it to your friends, or post it to your facebook!  (Or all of the above!)  I will be posting book reviews as often as possible (my goal is once a week- let's see if I can make it!).  I am also hoping to start some book discussions in the examiner forums, as well.  So, please come and participate! 

Examining...

Well, it is official!  I am now an "examiner" with Jacksonville's The Examiner website!  I will be posting book reviews for them under their Arts & Entertainment section.  This means my former review blog will be no more.  And, it means I better get busy reading!! 

Please check it out at examiner.com/jacksonville and tell your friends!!!

Finding what's more...

I heard a great line yesterday- The only monster that you need to worry about in this life is the one that stares at you from the mirror each morning.  You tame him, make friends with him, and the rest of life is nothing you can't handle.*  And this is what I hope to do by backing off from the cyber world for a while.  I have canceled my facebook and my myspace accounts, and I am taking a hiatus from this blog.  I will leave it active for anyone who wants to read past posts, and for a future me who may want to come back to it.  For now, though, "it's time for [me] to start writing something other than notes."** 

I am ready now to work on getting published.  I have applied to write for an online magazine, and will shift my focus to submitting articles to smaller magazines, at first, and then hopefully on to larger ones.  And, possibly to dabbling in fiction.  I am a person who can easily get mired down into a rut, and I fear that this blog may be my comfort rut.  So, I am breaking out of it, not because I don't like it, but because I feel that maybe it has led me to the place I am now, the place I need to be- with my writing, my confidence, and my peace of mind.  I love writing because it is my way of assessing the world around me, of breaking things down into simplified and digestible pieces.  Now I want to try doing that from a different approach.  Like yesterday, when I had gotten myself so upset about something that I didn't know what to do, I went into my backyard and played in the dirt and it calmed me.  It's time to simplify things, try something new, get dirty, and find out what more is.

*Charles Martin, Chasing Fireflies
**Golly, Harriet the Spy

I will be publishing my own website soon, so I will be sure to post when that is up!  Thanks to all my continual readers!  Please keep in touch via my email: dewin@dewindesigns.com.  

Focusing beyond the horizon...

"Cowardice asks the question- is it safe; expediency asks the question- is it politic; and, vanity comes along and asks the question- is it popular.  But, conscience asks the question- is it right.  And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular, but he must do it because conscience tells him it is right."

This is my new favorite quote by Martin Luther King.  When I first heard it, it immediately reminded me of my own life.  I always let cowardice ask 'is it safe' about everything I do.  I live my life from a cramped space of fear, only venturing far enough out to peek around and then pull my head quickly back in.  I only say what people want to hear because it's not safe to speak my mind.  I only stick to what I know.  I have dreams, but I tell myself they cannot come true because they are not realistic. 

In the amazing State of the Union address Tuesday night, President Obama said something I will never forget: "I'm not sure how we'll reach that better place beyond the horizon, but I know we'll get there."  We focus too much on planning every little detail of life.  It's hard not to.  But Obama's comments showed me the way to focus on what's important, the forest above all the trees.  Focus on the end result and you will get there.  It's when you focus on the how that cowardice, expediency, and vanity sneak in with their judgment.  I don't want to live my life in a place that's safe, logical, or well-liked.  The most important place is where I want to be.  If I focus on that and that only, the rest will fall into place.

Father Lopez; Mission of Nombre de Dios, St. Augustine, Florida

Reflecting...

I am currently reading an autobiography of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., pieced together from his own writings.  In it, he discusses the reasoning behind his use of nonviolent tactics.  Of course there are the obvious reasons, but one floated forward that I had not recognized before: contrast.  When we look in the mirror, we think we are seeing reality, but what we really see is the opposite of reality, an image that has been flipped 180 degrees upon itself.  When the marches and boycotts were held throughout the South in the mid-1900s, two things led the police and KKK to retaliate with violence.  One, of course, was a lack of control, but the other was a lack of what they saw as reaction.  King preached that no matter what happened, whether pain or death, not to retaliate in violence, but in love.  The effect this had on the aggressors was remarkable.  For, what it did was provide a mirror for them showing just what they were capable of by showing them the exact opposite.  Violence held up to violence appears justified, but violence held up to nonviolence appears ridiculous.  By refusing to involve themselves in this fake drama being played out before them, they made a true contribution by showing the aggressors who they themselves were on the inside.  Once it had been reflected for them so clearly, they had no other choice but to back down. 

I am also currently reading a novel about a girl who was raised by a schizophrenic and abusive mother.  I was reading a particularly painful piece the other day while working out at the gym.  I had my book propped up on the stairmaster, and to take a break and digest what I had just read, I looked up for a moment at the tv that was on the wall in front of me.  It was tuned to some reality show I couldn't hear because of my headphones.  All I could see was an extremely financially-fortunate woman, complete with bleached hair and botox, completely made up to sit around on her couch in the middle of the afternoon and argue with somebody.  I don't know who it was, and I doubt it matters anyway.  All I could see was a very blessed and miserable woman.  Then I looked back down to my book, at the scared and confused young girl within its pages.  The contrast in priorities just stunned me.

I think that if we were to use what and who we see around us as a mirror for our true selves instead of seeing it as some outside, unconnected happenstance, we could get a glimpse of who we really are, and thereby, be better able to become who we really want to be.  Or maybe we're too afraid of what we will see.   

Mirror Lake in the Okefenokee Swamp.

Creating (not following) my path...

Today I finished the second of two autobiographical accounts of hostage experiences in the Colombian jungle.  The first, written by then presidential candidate Ingrid Betancourt, I read for my book review blog.  I was so intrigued by her story that I then read the narrative of her companion, lawyer Clara Rojas.  Next on my agenda is yet another account co-written by three American soldiers who were held with the women.  One thing I like about Betancourt's story is that it truly gives you a glimpse into the human psyche and how it reacts to the lack of freedom and all that comes with it.  Clara's story is interesting because it discusses the trials of having a child in middle of the jungle.  As I was reading the final chapters of her book this evening, I came across a cool quote that not only sums up her experience of six years of being held captive, but my struggle with how I want to express my life.  She pulled it from a song by Joan Manuel Serrat entitled, "Caminante No Hay Camino".  The chorus goes like this:


"Traveler, there is no set path;
the path is made while walking it.
Blow by blow, kiss by kiss,
that's how a path is made."


I have a new favorite hobby: searching for real estate online.  Do we have any plans to move anytime soon, no.  But I like to daydream that one day we could afford a cozy little cottage in St. Augustine hidden amongst the huge oak trees, draped in moss.  It's fun to daydream, but the thing is when I close my laptop, instead of pulling inspiration from the act of dreaming, I grow bitter and angry that I am forced to settle for what I have.  I did this last night, and my husband pointed it out to me.  I had never noticed before that I get that way.  So as I lay in bed I asked myself, why do I do that to myself, why do I even look at the houses if I can't afford them?  'Because it's fun' was my mind's quick response.  It's fun to dream and pretend.  So that's when I realized it's ok to dream but only if you use it to inspire you, not deflate you.  The Serrat quote reinforced this thinking for me today.  I interpreted it as a reminder to step back, chill out, and enjoy what I've been given.  To stop worrying about what comes next.

Fun with trespassing!  (At least I don't live here, right?!)