Stopping time...

Today was the busiest day I've had in a while. I had my normal student load, then I had an observation with another teacher, then I hopped over to my other life and went to a meeting at the hotel where I work (finally grabbing some lunch at 3), and then I hopped back to my teaching job for a meeting with the parents of one of my students, the psychologist I work for, and some school faculty. It was a lot of hopping. Needless to say I fell asleep right in the middle of the big chase scene of Pee Wee's Big Adventure this evening. And, that was right after I helped my husband plant some bushes in the front yard, took several photos, moved the furniture back into our front room, touched up a bunch of spots on the floor in two rooms (we recently pulled up the carpet throughout the house and painted the concrete beneath), and started a whopping pile of laundry that's been staring at me all week (all while blasting Michael Jackson's Number Ones, God rest his soul). Whew. What a day. Oh, and I also started my first fiction novel since age 10.

When I started this blog, it was mostly in answer to my own awareness that I was making excuses to keep myself from creating. I told myself I just didn't have the time (I have 4 jobs after all!), but really I was afraid (and still am partially) of trying to be a real photographer, because- and here it comes again- "what if" I suck at it? Or "what if" I don't know what I'm doing?? And the worst ever imaginable- "what if" someone else is better than I am??? So, I forced myself to do it by creating this daily dedication to it. And, guess what? Time magically appeared. A lot of time.

I started to think about it today, and realized that I spend about 45 minutes to an hour taking photos and working on them in PhotoShop each day now, in addition to the hour it takes me to write my posts. That's TWO whole hours (in case you can't count) that magically appeared in my day. TWO HOURS! You could save the world in two hours if you wanted to. I am living proof that time can be stopped- if you want it to be. Time is only a state of mind.

In fact, this was wonderfully addressed in my reading today of Coaching the Artist Within. The author, Eric Maisel, wrote, "If you wait for a better time to create, better than this moment, if you wait til you feel settled, divinely inspired, perfectly centered, unburdened of your usual worries, or free of your own skin, forget about it. You will still be waiting tomorrow, and the next day, wondering why you never managed to begin, wondering how you did such an excellent job of disappointing yourself." Amen. As I read on, I came to a section entitled, "Dropping everything", which describes dropping not just what you're doing and what you should be doing, but also your resistance to doing what you truly want to do. The section ended with the sentence- "Drop everything right this minute and go write..." 'Ok', I thought. 'I only have 10 minutes until my next student, but ok!' And in that 10 minutes stolen amongst responsibilities, I wrote 2 full pages. Two full introductory pages, which, I would say, are usually the most difficult. How powerful a feeling it was to know I didn't have to have this dedicated hour to devote. I didn't need to be at a perfectly organized desk at the perfect time of day in the perfect room full of perfect silence. I just wrote where I sat. And it flowed out of me. The Source! It was as though time stopped- for me.



This one was a lot of fun to get. And a lot of work. I got it playing around with my shutter speed. It was tough getting a good angle and getting the water to look just right. I call this one, "Stopping time".