I considered taking a day off from my blogging today. I didn't have time before work to take pictures, and I just got home at 11:40pm due to holiday traffic, and I have to be back there at 7am. So, needless to say, I should be sleeping. But, worst of all, I found myself stressing over what I would post and what I would photograph, something my husband would yell at me for. He asks me almost daily when I question what I shoot and what I write, "why are you doing this blog?" And my answer is always- "to be a better photographer". And then, he says, "so, that doesn't mean every picture has to be great". Then he inevitably asks, "who are you doing this blog for?", and I reply, "myself". To which he reminds me I needn't worry what anyone else thinks. So, in an attempt to follow this insightful way of life, or at least "fake it til I make it", as my mom says, I decided to go ahead and post a short blog, though I don't have the time to make it my best.
I'm not a pro with the whole not-caring-what-others-think thing. Craig's friends can tell you that, as I came home to find his good friend and a girl he just started dating sitting in our disaster of a house tonight, and I freaked! For whatever reason, I have always been someone who has this aching need to be perfect in front of others. But I've been trying to let it go over the past few years, and I guess this blog falls under that goal too. I do actually stay up nights sometimes wondering if people will think my photo is boring or if I said something that would offend any one of my readers. Pretty pathetic to waste your time and energy on such useless garbage. This is part of the reason, I'm sure, that I lack the courage to fully involve myself in my art. What will people think? is always running through my head.
Well, in the words of the great Gwen Stefani, "Who really cares, cause it's your life; you never know, it could be great".
From my head into my camera my worries go. These are the worry dolls that Craig got for me. Every night I sleep with them under my pillow so they can carry my worries away and I can wake with a fresh state of mind. I thought of them as I was driving home from work worrying about this blog. So I thought they could serve as my representation tonight. I also chose to shoot them because I would really like to improve upon my object photography. I see some people's shops on etsy and their photos of their products are so amazing. And it's just a photo of a button, or something benign like that, but it's just so well shot. So I want to start practicing more with items. These dolls were good practice for detail, because they are so small. You will definitely see more of these type of photos as the days turn.
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1 comments:
Hey Kiddo - I think every artist fears that their work will never mean anything to anyone else but themselves. Keep shooting!
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