Saying goodbye to guilt...

I walk through my life with a constant companion. One that never leaves my side, but is so stealthy, I didn't even notice it until today. Until this moment, actually. It's called guilt. Some people might think it is a powerful motivator. How often are we guilt-tripped into action? But to me it is the anti-motivator. It makes me feel heavy and overburdened into hibernation. No matter what I do it is never enough, I will always feel guilty. Guilty that I haven't cleaned the house the way I said I would, guilty that I'm not doing a better job at work, guilty that I don't work more and make more money, guilty that I sat on the couch watching Dawson's Creek instead of folding laundry, guilty that I haven't called a friend- any friend- in a long time, guilty that I don't see my family more often, guilty that I've gained weight, but most of all, I feel guilty for not having started my writing.

How many times a day do I dream of the day that I can stay at home and be creative with my time? The day that I won't have to rush home from my 6, sometimes 7, day work week to spend a few hours with my thoughts. The day that I can call myself a writer. The day that I see my name, mine, on a book shelf in Barnes and Noble. Yet, I am motionless. I am the only one who can make it happen, and I want it so badly. So why am I standing still? I feel guilty that I haven't started it yet. And every day that I feel guilty makes me that much more guilty the next because I know there is no time like the present. And, I'm wasting it. Why should it be this hard?

Because- "if it was easy, everyone would do it. The hard is what makes it great." You know, sometimes I wonder if movies haven't saved my life. I'm sitting here hopeless, searching for an answer, and Tom Hanks' voice rings out in my head. And, suddenly it's all clear. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to go work on my book!



Catching my time to shine.