Truly smiling...

Today I got yelled at. In my face. For a prolonged period of time. No one was there to help me. And, it was great! As I was standing there, I was thinking, "how am I going to deal with this after he leaves"? When people are just rude without reason (because there is no reason), it puts a cloud over my entire day. I think about what I should have said or done, but mostly I beat my brain over how and why anyone could be so horrible. And, why was I forced to endure it, with a smiling face no less?

Well, this time was different. I said what I wanted to say, the whole time looking him straight in the eye. I didn't budge. Now, that I have done before on at least one occasion. But this part was the best- after he left, I was fine. No suspended feelings of fear or anger (if there's a difference). Not even a shred. I was in shock. So shocked, I couldn't wipe the smile off my face. I suddenly had a huge burst of energy. I ran up to my boss as soon as he was off the phone and told him what I'd done, as I triumphantly jumped up and down! (He knows how I am.) For the next half hour, I walked around the hotel in a jubilant daze.

It was like when you first meet someone you're crazy about. You get what an old friend of mine called, "permagrin". You're just so happy and excited about life you can't stop smiling. That's how I felt today. In fact, I've had permagrin several times lately. Once when I was getting ready for bed and a thought about my husband came to mind. Once as I was driving home from work down our tree-lined street. No one was around to see it. It wasn't an attempt to be polite or socially-correct. It was a true smile, one that just happened. That is my confirmation that I am experiencing life for what it is.



Today I tried a portrait, which I haven't done in a while. It was quite a challenge trying to capture some emotion. But I think we pulled it off in the end. I'm pretty happy with the results, and I'm sure I will post others from this shoot in the future. It was a lot of fun! I've just been so focused on my writing of the posts lately, I haven't really been inspired with photo ideas. Until today!