Exploring the depths of the mind...

I was driving home from a friend's tonight, going over the Dames Point Bridge, when I looked over at a faint glow coming from behind a line of black trees. The image brought with it an immediate feeling of comfort associated with a memory of looking out of my parent's bedroom window at our old beach house in St. Augustine. At night, far off in the distance, you could always see lights glowing behind the trees, sometimes even what we called "Hollywood lights"- moving spotlights. And, for whatever reason, this always filled me with a sense of wonder of what exciting things existed beyond those trees.

I got pulled into a show on PBS last night about black holes. I've never been a big science buff (other than oceanography- I used to want to be a marine biologist), but I couldn't take my eyes away. And, so I started to question my recent interest in space. Why am I suddenly so intrigued by it and why do I feel such a connection to it? This is usually something children do, switching from one interest to another. But the light behind the trees gave me my answer.

I am attached to the feeling of wonder. I actually believe we all are, but as we grow older we push it aside until it is no longer recognized. When we are young, we love to hear stories of far-off places, of treasure maps and dinosaurs- all things we cannot know, because they do not exist in our current reality. We are drawn to them as children because there are no answers, no certainties. Therefore, our minds are allowed to wander and create our own possibilities. I remember as a child tripping on the idea of how huge dinosaurs were and imagining one being in my backyard. I remember reading stories about ghosts and imagining what it must be like to see one. I remember watching the Goonies and dreaming of such adventure. These thoughts were attractive to me because no one could answer them. No one could tell me exactly what it would be like. Only I could imagine the answer.

And, that is why I am so drawn to space, to letting my mind fully escape me thinking about how huge our universe is, how many trillions of stars are in it, what other life forms could exist. This explains my love for the ocean, as well. I remember when I was young every time we would drive over the Buckman Bridge, I would wait til we reached the very top and imagine myself jumping to the depths below, swimming with fishes as the cool water breezed past me. No one knows what lies at the deepest depths of the ocean. But I sure do love to think about it.

Stretching my mind to its greatest limits, striving to understand, knowing full well that I am not capable, is somehow comforting and fun. There's definitely a level of fear involved in not knowing, but there is more wonder and amazement than anything else. Our world is so full of the unknown, it's a shame we only focus on the known. It's the unknown that gives us the freedom to "explore" with our minds.



Who needs a rocket ship when you've got your mind?