Putting one foot in front of the other...

Every month my supervisor at my teaching job sends out a newsletter that features an article related to our work. This month's contained an article on Henry Winkler, the actor. It discussed how he has dealt with his dyslexia and managed to act, produce, direct, write, and speak, despite his resulting lack of self-esteem. I was impressed with his clarity and determination. Many of the points he made, I thought, echoed some of the topics I have written about in this blog. So, I thought I would list my favorites, along with my thoughts on each.

“It is like fate up against your back, pushing you in a direction,” he says. “Fate’s hands are on your back and they are guiding you to whatever you are supposed to be. I had this powerful desire to be an actor, but I didn’t know how to get there. All I knew is that I wanted it.”

This reminds me of one of my early posts about how I knew even when I was young that I wanted to be a writer and a pilot. As I got older, I started to not trust that inner urge, and started thinking instead about what the most responsible life track would be. But that "push" never left me. It led to a lot of symptoms, like stress, anxiety, and depression. I think most people think these are typical problems, but you know, ever since I started following my "push" more, I am completely less stressed, anxious and depressed. I still make the same amount of money; I still have to pay the same bills; I still have the same job responsibilities; but because I don't have that force backing up inside me, because I have given it an outlet, I feel better, happier.

“And I would never get the job in the beginning,” he says. “I guess the key is, no matter how many times you fall over, you dust yourself off and you keep moving.”

I actually got my first rejection letter a couple of days ago. I had sent some writing samples into a magazine. The funny thing was as sad as I was, I saw it as a badge of achievement. First of all, because I just had the courage to send it in, and second, because that's one rejection letter down. There may be 50 to follow, but I'm one rejection closer to that first wonderful letter of acceptance!

“Don’t get typecast in your own life,” he says. “You cannot assume that somebody can define you. You cannot assume that the other person is right. No matter how they say it to you, no matter with how much force they say, ‘Oh my god, you’ll never make it; oh my god, you’re not bright; you could never do this’—that’s one person. I can’t tell you how many people told me I would never be an actor.”

You know, no one has actually ever told me that I can't be a writer, or a photographer, or even a pilot (though my mom is not thrilled about that one!). It took me until I started this blog to realize that it had been me all those years telling myself that I wasn't good enough. I did it on such a subconscious level, I didn't even notice. An old friend's husband was the first to make me start paying attention to all my negative self-talk. He was a football player, and was huge on the positive effects of positive self-talk. Until then, I hadn't realized how many horrible names I called myself on a daily basis for the smallest mistakes. So a big part of following my push is quieting my mind, and its now habit of immediately responding with, "yeah right, Dewin, you'll never be able to do that".

“The moment you think about trying something new, you can either say—like I did the first time someone mentioned writing books to me—‘I’m sorry, I can’t do that; it’s out of the question, forget it.’ You just dismiss it through your lack of confidence and your lack of imagination. The next time the suggestion was made to me, I was in a different place in my mind and my feelings and I just said ‘OK.’ And then you put one foot in front of the other and you wind up at your destination.”

This reminds me of how I felt the first time I started to think about doing portraits. I always told myself trees were it for me, I couldn't handle the challenge of photographing a person. But now it is something I get really excited about. It still makes me a bit scared until I get started. I feel like, 'what am I doing here?' But, like Mr. Winkler says, you put one foot in front of the other. That's the only way to live.

“What I say when I speak publicly is that everyone in the room has greatness in them,” he says. “It’s just that so many of us are willing to second-guess ourselves and say, ‘No, that couldn’t possibly be the truth.’ And children have a wonderful gift. They have to figure out what that gift is, dig it out and give it to the world—and it could be anything.”

This reminds me again of the quote by Marianne Williamson that my friend posted as a comment to yesterday's entry and that I also quoted back in a June post. We always seem to think that greatness is for other people, like actors, politicians, scientists, and geniuses. But every one of us can be great- if, and only if, we follow our path, the path that was laid out for us. I love it when people refer to what we have to offer as a gift, not for us, but the world. I think it is the perfect metaphor. We all have the power to change lives, to inspire, to make this world the beautiful place it deserves to be. The sad part is how few of us recognize it and use it.



Where will these little feet take me? Will they stand still or will they lead me to my fate? I can only hope. But one thing I do know- they will always wear Converse!