Admitting (and accepting) faults...

Tonight, I watched an episode of Hell's Kitchen, the one show my husband and I watch consistently. I don't know why, but we love it. One thing I "love" about it is how any time someone gets called out on a mistake he's made, he consequently complains in his "confessional" soliloquies that he is being "thrown under the bus". He only messed up this one time. Yet, when someone else messes up, the others (the same ones who fucked up yesterday) talk in their confessionals about what an idiot the person is and how easy the task is that he slipped up on. Apparently, they forgot that they are not perfect either. So, in tandem with the idea of the independent woman/man ideal that so seduces our culture comes the falsehood that mistakes are inadmissible.

I saw it all the time with my second graders when I taught in the public hell system. I even saw it among coworkers at the domestic violence shelter where I once worked. The immediate jump to get defensive, to point the finger someone else's way when a mistake has been identified. We strive so much for perfection, we fear that mistakes will show weakness. Or perhaps a dependence on others, God forbid.

It's pretty cool that I now work in two environments where it is okay to step up and say, yes I screwed up, and people gather around and help you. No one laughs and points fingers or calls names. Now if only I could do that for myself.


Growing up, not down.