Ditching the reruns...

As I was brushing my teeth this morning, it came to me. Life as I know it suddenly made sense, and I had to stop and smile, foamy teeth and all. Last night as I was driving down 9A, Stephen said something that made total writing sense to me. After speaking about how writers simply come across stories and transcribe them, he went on to state that it is almost never a good idea to begin the writing process with a plotline. Instead you take a fleeting idea or question that flutters through your brain and just start writing. If you begin with a map, the result will come across forced and trite. However, if you explore the storyline as you go, it will develop naturally and honestly. (Insert Amen here.) I have felt this very thing before. Trying to start off from a prefabricated outline or overall focus feels uncomfortable. It's like writing a research paper, which is hardly ever fun. And, for whatever reason, as I was brushing my teeth, his words replayed in my head and something snapped.

I've been noticing the past couple of days a heaviness first thing in the morning. Not exactly a sense of dread, but most certainly a desire to stay in bed. And, I hate it. It's a yucky feeling and I couldn't for the life of me figure out where it was coming from. Everything is good in my life right now. No reason for yuckiness. Until, in nothing more than one split second, it all made sense. Just as it is unnatural to apply a rigid outline to a story before it's been written, so is it to apply a rigid outline to my life before it's been lived. How will there be room left for options as of yet unknown? How could I foresee the introduction of new characters? How would I predict the development of the main character? Stephen says even he does not know the ending until it happens. And, so it should be with life. Every day, every second, lived as a surprise. I don't want to grow to expect certain things to happen. I don't want to expect anything out of life. The last thing I want is a trite existence. I don't need to be known for anything special or remembered by others, I just want to live aligned with my spirit, wherever it leads me.


Here's a creepy one for ya! I took this at my hotel, obviously. This is a depiction of how I feel when I live life according to an outline. Like life is happening all around me, yet I remain just a black and white rerun of the same day over and over. Regardless of where I am or what seemingly monotonous thing I may be doing, as long as I do it with spirit, it feels new and exciting.