Redefining the "norm"...

I was talking with friends the other day about children with learning disabilities, and how they just need to learn the tools they require to succeed. One of my friends pointed out that, in fact, we all do this. We are all looking for different tools to do the same job. We each have different abilities and varying degrees of each. We each have different limits and varying degrees of each. The trick is figuring out what your individual ones are. I don't know who it was that created the "norm", but it was not a very smart person. I think growing up, at least for me, it is easy to identify with the norm, and assume it is universal. It's taken me my entire thirty years to realize that I am not the "norm", and that nothing is wrong with that. So, now I am faced with the job of figuring out what it is I need and when and how and how much, etc., etc.

It's been interesting releasing the blame and guilt for this. For instance, I have always known I was shy, introverted. For my whole life, I have hated myself for it, and tried to figure out how to not be that way. It is just now that I realize it is not a negative thing, and that I need to ration out my socializing. So, I take note of when I know I've had too much, and remember that for next time. It's cool to be able to give myself that slack and to look out for myself, for once.

The same is true for all things, all ways of life. The 9-to-5 settled life does not define "stability" for all of us. Some of us, including me, would lose our minds in that world (have lost our minds in that world). So, we figure out what we need and fold our lives around it. There's this scene in Harriet the Spy (yes, I'm referring to this movie again, it is amazing, and I can't wait to finally read the book) when her nanny's boyfriend tells Harriet that he quit his job where he was a "bajillionaire" to be a delivery man. He suddenly realized the "norm" was not for him, and with this realization "life is sweet again".

I think the most important thing we can teach kids is to constantly question. Maybe the actual asking of "why" is more important than the answer. As you explore your world, you find yourself.