Bending with life...

Well, I did it. Today, I wrote. And it felt real. I was listening to the new Paramore album the other day, which is amazing by the way, a definite recommend, and I was inspired by one of the songs. Suddenly, I had an idea for a story. Something I felt connected to, something I felt others would connect with, and something that didn't feel ominous. But best of all, it was something I got excited about! (That is my clue that I am on the right track, when I am so excited my stomach hurts.) It was the first time I really had an idea for a story come together the way my ideas for my photography and artwork come together in my head. And, it was because someone or something else inspired me. Makes sense. That's how it always works with other projects for me. Could be a tree, could be garbage. But something jumps out at me and my imagination flies with it.

So I had this evening free, and though I was close to calling up a friend to hang out since I never have nights free, I decided this would be a great time to write. So, I came home from work, and took a nap first. But when I woke up I realized I didn't feel like being stuck in my office. I had been stuck inside all day. There was still a bit of sunlight left in the sky, and so I decided to write in my favorite place of all- my hammock. So I set out to the great outdoors with a brand new clean notebook, a pencil, and my idea.

To my surprise, the first sentence came to me as I was gathering my things. Once I started writing, it started to flow. Beautiful words poured out. Words I was immediately proud of. So I wrote for a while with the sounds of the birds cheering me on. After a few pages, I went blank. I couldn't decide where to go next. So, instead of staring at the paper and chastising myself, I picked up my new book, The Ties That Bind, and read for a little bit. When I felt ready to return, I picked up my notebook and wrote another couple pages. It was the definition of blissful. It was easy. It was- dare I say it- enjoyable.

In the midst of my writing, my phone rang. It was my husband. I answered it. When he asked why I was answering my phone while writing, since I normally don't, I answered, "too many rules". Besides there's no better inspiration than the most beautiful voice in the world.

So I learned something from following what I want today. I learned that hard-fast rules do not equal fast easy results. Just because Stephen King writes in seclusion at a desk doesn't mean I have to. Just because some writers get distracted with phone calls and planes buzzing overhead doesn't mean that I do. So I decided to meld my writing and my life. They are one and the same. Not like my current jobs where I have work and then after I'm off, I have my life. All things separate. Writing is my life. Writing is me. If I want my life to be more flexible, it only makes sense that I be more flexible with it. No more rules.

I want to add a quote here from The Ties That Bind by Bertice Berry that I began reading today, as it fits my recent posts so well. She is actually quoting her other book, Redemption Song. The quote is pulled from a narrative written by her character, who was a former slave.

"Y'all done traded one form of slavery from another when you turned your back on wisdom. You ain't free to do what you want to do; you free to do what you supposed to do. Find out what you here for, what you were sent for."

That line about what you want and what you're supposed to do just holds a mirror up for me. It's almost identical to my recent post. It's as if I am pulled to certain books at certain times for certain reasons, unknown to me. I believe they are clues on my journey.


There are all sorts of bridges we have to cross to get to what we want. But you can't be afraid of heights.