Perhaps a dramatic quote for what I'm referencing here but this line from Paramore flirts with the idea of happiness resulting from ups and deep, deep downs. Tonight was a down for me. Most days I'm up, positive about my future, my goals, my dreams. But it's days like today when I wonder if my struggling to be so positive isn't masking the fact that I'm clueless. I hope not.
I watched the movie version of The Kite Runner tonight and it was awful. But it brought back the connection I felt to those characters. And it broke my heart. I have never felt that connection to any character I have given life to. And shouldn't that relationship create a greater feeling of connection? Then the most dreadful thought crossed my mind, maybe I'm not supposed to be a writer.
I spent the next two hours covering the coffee table in kleenex and getting a pep talk from my husband. He says I'm putting the cart before the horse. I really haven't written for real in about 18 years. The last short story I remember writing was in the 6th grade. So though I feel like I've been writing all my life, I had quite a hiatus there. I guess it's gonna take a while to get back on that horse. And I guess, as I did tonight, I am bound to fall off a few times, to beat a metaphor to death. So, I guess this is me picking myself up and dusting myself off.
Self explanatory.
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3 comments:
Send me stuff to critique anytime! YOU CAN DO IT!!!!! My husband reminds me all the time that SO MANY people didn't truly find their craft until they were middle-aged. I have this terrible tendency to feel overwhelmed by a sense of URGENCY. And sometimes, things just need time to evolve. Such as writing. Characters. Stories. Look for a writer's meet-up group in Jacksonville!
You and Craig could go to this one together: http://creativecircle.meetup.com/30/
It's for artists of all types. Musicians. Writers. Photographers. SIGN UP!
Search for other great meet-up groups by category here: http://www.meetup.com/cities/us/fl/jacksonville/
Thank you! You're so sweet. That is exactly how I feel too about the urgency part. I'm just so angry with myself that I didn't follow my gut from the time I was 5and gave up writing. but thank you for the group links. I already signed up for one. So, I'll let you know how it goes!!!
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