Wanting to be right where I am...

Lately, I feel like that scene in Look Who's Talking when Albert's head bursts in a poof of smoke and confetti. Or the one in The Upside of Anger where that loser boyfriend's head explodes at dinner and his nose lands in the mother's soup bowl. I started this blog because I felt my creativity being held in. I was unhappy in my happy life, and I wanted to make it better. So I focused more on my photography. That led to a focus on my writing, which in turn led to a focus on my thinking. The point was to quell the rushing tides inside. Instead it seems it has stoked them.

Last night, listening to M. Night discussing his medium, I was taken in. I watched him travel through the process from beginning to completion. I was jealous of his ability to walk an idea through from start to finish. I start cramping at the front door. In one single quiet moment today, I asked myself, why is the destination so important? Like when I was a teenager, and I wanted to be married and have a kid so badly. Why did I need to rush it? I'm married now and it's great, but it's now. That was then. I'm afraid that I'm wanting so badly to be at a point in my creative life that I'm not at yet that I am missing the place where I am. This place is just as important as whatever place I end up. I'm tired of expecting the overnight "success". I'm tired of wanting a fast forward button for life. Soon enough, it will be over entirely. I want to want to be right here right now. And right now I am writing.