Losing loss and focusing on gain...

Being a witness to the celebration of the Dia de Muertos, I thought a lot about death on this trip. Death has always been a fascination of mine, as I have mentioned before, with my early interests in ghosts and serial murder and crime in general. I got really interested in it in preparation for my trip which is why I have a couple of books that touch on the outlooks on death of different religions in my updated reading list. I foolishly took four books with me on my trip thinking I'd come home after my day's adventure and bundle up under the covers with a book. Ha. The second my tiny toe hit that bed I was passed out. Traveling sure can take a lot out of you. So, in the end, the only reading I really got accomplished was on the plane flights.

I guess the thing that most surprised me about the festivities as a whole was the overall comfort with death. We visited a small cemetery near our condo one afternoon and I was shocked to see people just chillin' in there. Some were sitting around talking, there was a group burying someone to the tunes of their radio, and another group doing what looked to be some sort of excavation. No one was whispering, no one was tiptoeing. It was as though we'd walked into a park. Later the next night, there was a huge block party in the same cemetery. Tons of people were there late into the night, lighting off cherry bombs, blaring mariachi music, and eating food from the vendors parked outside. I loved it.

Here in America everyone is so serious about death. And, I started to think about why that is. Here we have crosses and signs on the side of the road where people have died. Even stickers on the backs of cars wishing their peaceful rest. But when we look at these mementos, we don't feel happy, we get sad. We think of the past, all the times we had with that person and how we will never have them again. In Mexico, they dedicate almost a week out of every year to creating altars with offerings of things the deceased liked- breads, candies, beer, and Coke. They go to where the dead lie and celebrate their lives and their passing.

It seems to me that in our culture we focus on the loss, while in Mexico they focus on the gain. They are thankful for the time they got to spend with the person, and are grateful for the fact that that person has moved on. Here we celebrate other rites of passage- baptisms, mitzvahs- both bar and bat, communions, sweet 16, births, graduations, marriage, promotions, relocations, etc, etc. But death, we don't celebrate. We deal with it. Like a bad habit.

It's refreshing and energizing how lightly they take life in Mexico. Nothing is serious, nobody whispers. In the Day of the Dead pageant we saw, there were comical skits about a suicidal teenager, a pregnant nun, and a prostitute. All played out on a stage in front of the center's cathedral. Most in our country would have been appalled and seen it as disrespectful. But I saw it as wonderful. To me, whispering and hiding things out of "respect" equals lying. And, why lie about life? It is a blessing- each and every part of it, whether "bad"or "good". Life is too precious to be taken so seriously. We need to celebrate all life's stages, even...shhhhhh...death.


"El Senor de los Muertos" makes an appearance in a Day of the Dead parade!