Muddling through...

I find it worthwhile to note that since I started this blog, a mere two weeks and a day ago, I have become quite bored with my previous "simplicity". As noted in previous posts, I used to be dedicated to the simplistic, to landscapes. I felt that all this befuddling with Photoshop was not true to the nature of creativity, and that the idea of capturing anything other than nature was just uninteresting (for me). Now, it seems, I have gone the opposite way. I took my camera with me this evening on a walk through my neighborhood, and vented to my husband about how bored I am with my surroundings- photography-wise, that is. After only 2 weeks, I feel they've been played out. I even started to address nature photography as boring.

This is an interesting dilemma to me, and I'm not really sure how to move on from it. I begin to wonder if dedicating every day to a new photo is bleeding me dry. But I don't want to believe that. After all, I get new ideas for shots every day. But I'm tired. Maybe it's like training for a marathon. Before I started this project, I hadn't taken a single photo in weeks. And, now suddenly I'm taking several each day. Maybe I just haven't worked up the stamina yet, and that is why I feel so exhausted, and suffer from headaches. Before, I was battling anxiety and sadness from my creativity backing up inside me. Now, it seems I've let it out so much, I've drained myself.

Well, I would like to muddle through and carry on in the belief that my body can handle the increase in creative energy. And, out of a desire not to lose my connection with nature photography, I decided that today I would post a photo I took on our walk. This is a shot of our neighbor's cactus. But instead of just keeping it simple, and perhaps a little "boring", I added some depth to it using Photoshop. Turns out there are no rules to creation. I don't know why I used to try to make up so many of them.

Seeing the light...

Tonight we were all netflixed out, so my husband popped in a copy of one of our old favorites- Indiana Jones. I just love how hero characters are always able to come up with these creative solutions just at the last possible second, like flipping over a coffin into a pool of lit up petroleum so you can breathe underneath. Brilliant. And, I love how in that series, every time Indy does something great, the theme song plays. So dramatic. It really draws you in.

Tonight, as I was watching, I thought about real heroes and suddenly, that quote from another of my all-time favorites, Akeelah and the Bee, came to mind. Here is the quote in its actual entirety, with its actual author:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."- Marianne Williamson

I started thinking about this as related to my earlier post about letting the Source act through you. And, I think this quote embodies that entirely. The funny thing is that in Christianity it is said that one should not be proud, that all things come from God, not you. But, hardly anyone behaves this way. People scoff at others who follow their gut, their inner voice. They say they are being irresponsible, they will never make a living that way, they should be more realistic. But the people who are "unrealistic" are the ones who truly put their trust in God, or the Source, or the Universe- whatever you want to call it. That's how I feel about photography. As soon as I start to feel anxious, thinking how am I going to keep this blog up, I remind myself that it's not me that's doing it. It just happens. Something makes it happen. It's like the scene in The Last Crusade, where Indy has to walk across the huge divide simply by having faith. And, once he makes that first step, a bridge is laid out before him that takes him safely to the other side.

I think that this represents the biggest thing that I admire about my husband. He never once in his life stopped to question the path he should take through his life. When I tell people he is a drummer, some still ask, "oh, well what's his real job?" Unlike most people would, he followed his passion, his gut, his faith. He never doubted that it would carry him where he needed to go. Because of this, I think of my husband as a hero. A real life Indiana Jones :)

And, I am certain it has been his influence that has helped me to accept that this light could shine through me, as well. I just have to let it.

Accepting what is...

This weekend we had this lady staying at the hotel. You could always tell when she was in the lobby from her shrieking voice. How it got through those pursed lips I'll never know. But the woman was never happy, and she was never quiet about it. Often, in the service industry, you come across people who like to complain, whine, bicker, what have you, just to hear the sound of their own voice. It's like one of my coworkers, who is almost always dressed in a scowl, looking for something to feel threatened by. Why? Why would a person do this to themselves- make themselves miserable? It makes you unhappy, the people around you unhappy, it certainly makes me less likely to lower your room rate, and it makes your face look ugly. So, why do it?

Well, in thinking about it, I decided it is because they just don't know any better. They don't understand that happiness doesn't just happen. Because you have the right amount of money, a great body, the perfect boyfriend, or any other number of worldly attributes. Happiness is a conscious decision. Not a decision made once, or even every day, but sometimes moment to moment. They just can't believe it could be as easy as just accepting what comes your way, instead of fighting against it. They are so married to this vision of the way the world should be (that exists only in their heads), that they can't come to terms with the world as it is. They just can't get themselves to say, "Is that so?", as Eckhart Tolle so enlightened us in his book A New Earth.

And, the way to make this conscious decision every day with every moment? To appreciate all things- good and bad, ugly and pretty, big and small... like good morning soap messages on your bathroom mirror. :)

Dreaming of adventure...

Today was my and my husband's friend's birthday, so, we spent the evening celebrating at the Casbah, a local Middle Eastern restaurant. As we sat eating our jibneh and grape leaves, Craig told me to pretend we were dining in Morocco. I asked him why, and he said because I would be going there someday. And, I smiled.

A few days ago, while reading my O Magazine, I happened upon an ad. Hmmm, an ad for photography expeditions. How cool. You go on a trip abroad and learn....what?! National Geographic offers them??!!! National Geographic is like THE apogee (I learned this word this week in my ACT prep!) of all photojournalism publications!!! It's been a secret dream of mine to work for them since I started my photography. And, here they are offering safaris and other adventures alongside actual NG photographers, who guide you to the best spots, give you advice, and critique your work?! I cannot possibly imagine anything better! It was enough to make me laugh, cry, scream, and dance all at the same time! Looking through the destinations, I couldn't decide which I would want to go to most, and then I saw Oaxaca.

After chatting with a friend a year ago about how she had planned a big trip in celebration of her 30th birthday, I decided- I am going to do that too. I'd wanted to go to Oaxaca since back in college when my Spanish professor told me about it. It just sounded beautiful. So I decided I would wait til October (my birthday is in May), and travel there to see the celebration of the Day of the Dead. A perfect, though perhaps ironic, celebration of my birth. Since then, me, my husband, and my parents (whom I asked to come along), have been working on a plan to make my birthday wish come true. So I was excited when I saw Oaxaca's Day of the Dead festival on there! I cannot wait to get some amazing and colorful shots while we're there!

But, I decided I would want to go somewhere I would never normally go. I go to Mexico somewhat often, and Europe with Craig. But he never tours in India or Morocco. What an amazing life-enriching event it would be to just take off for two weeks and see places many people never see, meet new fascinating people, and experience completely different customs, all while learning to better my photography from one of the greats!

Well, this will have to remain an addition to my vision board for the time being, as cost is a current concern. But, someday, not too far away, I will be lost in a foreign land, wandering amongst the streams of story! I can't wait!!!! (Til then, the Casbah will have to do!)


Clockwise from left: the bellydancer at the Casbah; Eric (birthday boy) and his wife, Cat; and my husband and his hookah.

Stepping back...

Today I slept in. (What a glorious feeling!) And, when I woke up I stayed in bed a while longer and read my book- Haroun and the Sea of Stories. Every page reveals more and more imaginative detail about far off lands- right down my alley- and, today's reading was no different. Today, Haroun traveled to the world of Kahani, where he encountered the Ocean of the Streams of Story, a creation of a beauty that rivals that of Perilin, the Night Forest in The Neverending Story. The author, Salman Rushdie, describes it as follows:

"He looked into the water and saw that it was made up of a thousand thousand thousand and one different currents, each one a different colour, weaving in and out of one another like a liquid tapestry of breathtaking complexity; and Iff explained that these were the Streams of Story, that each coloured strand represented and contained a single tale."

Immediately, my imagination went wild picturing this amazing place. How magical it must feel to be a part of. And, I decided I wanted to try to create it myself, photographically, that is. So, I went to work. I grabbed my camera and went straight to our garden. And, again, playing with my shutter speed at the opposite side of the spectrum from yesterday, I took photos of our flowers as I curved my camera through the air to make "currents".

As I did this, I started thinking... maybe Rushdie was actually describing our world. If you were to look at the earth from above, I bet it would look similar to the Streams of Story. A "thousand thousand thousand and one" people, each of a different color, wandering and altering their direction spontaneously; each carrying with it his own unique story, that too changes from day to day.

And, I bet if we lived in another world, and read a story about our current world, we would be amazed by its beauty and magic. But because we live here, day in and day out, it seems to lose its enchantment, which is truly quite sad. We read all these tales about mystic creatures and fascinating places, but what we have here on Earth, to someone from some other place, would seem just as mystical and miraculous. Sometimes I guess you just have to step back and take a look at things to see how amazing they really are.


My version of the Streams of Story.

Stopping time...

Today was the busiest day I've had in a while. I had my normal student load, then I had an observation with another teacher, then I hopped over to my other life and went to a meeting at the hotel where I work (finally grabbing some lunch at 3), and then I hopped back to my teaching job for a meeting with the parents of one of my students, the psychologist I work for, and some school faculty. It was a lot of hopping. Needless to say I fell asleep right in the middle of the big chase scene of Pee Wee's Big Adventure this evening. And, that was right after I helped my husband plant some bushes in the front yard, took several photos, moved the furniture back into our front room, touched up a bunch of spots on the floor in two rooms (we recently pulled up the carpet throughout the house and painted the concrete beneath), and started a whopping pile of laundry that's been staring at me all week (all while blasting Michael Jackson's Number Ones, God rest his soul). Whew. What a day. Oh, and I also started my first fiction novel since age 10.

When I started this blog, it was mostly in answer to my own awareness that I was making excuses to keep myself from creating. I told myself I just didn't have the time (I have 4 jobs after all!), but really I was afraid (and still am partially) of trying to be a real photographer, because- and here it comes again- "what if" I suck at it? Or "what if" I don't know what I'm doing?? And the worst ever imaginable- "what if" someone else is better than I am??? So, I forced myself to do it by creating this daily dedication to it. And, guess what? Time magically appeared. A lot of time.

I started to think about it today, and realized that I spend about 45 minutes to an hour taking photos and working on them in PhotoShop each day now, in addition to the hour it takes me to write my posts. That's TWO whole hours (in case you can't count) that magically appeared in my day. TWO HOURS! You could save the world in two hours if you wanted to. I am living proof that time can be stopped- if you want it to be. Time is only a state of mind.

In fact, this was wonderfully addressed in my reading today of Coaching the Artist Within. The author, Eric Maisel, wrote, "If you wait for a better time to create, better than this moment, if you wait til you feel settled, divinely inspired, perfectly centered, unburdened of your usual worries, or free of your own skin, forget about it. You will still be waiting tomorrow, and the next day, wondering why you never managed to begin, wondering how you did such an excellent job of disappointing yourself." Amen. As I read on, I came to a section entitled, "Dropping everything", which describes dropping not just what you're doing and what you should be doing, but also your resistance to doing what you truly want to do. The section ended with the sentence- "Drop everything right this minute and go write..." 'Ok', I thought. 'I only have 10 minutes until my next student, but ok!' And in that 10 minutes stolen amongst responsibilities, I wrote 2 full pages. Two full introductory pages, which, I would say, are usually the most difficult. How powerful a feeling it was to know I didn't have to have this dedicated hour to devote. I didn't need to be at a perfectly organized desk at the perfect time of day in the perfect room full of perfect silence. I just wrote where I sat. And it flowed out of me. The Source! It was as though time stopped- for me.



This one was a lot of fun to get. And a lot of work. I got it playing around with my shutter speed. It was tough getting a good angle and getting the water to look just right. I call this one, "Stopping time".

Maintaining "open"ness...

So, on a surprising whim today, I stopped off and picked up a copy of O Magazine. Never read one before, just thought I'd check it out. And the first article I see when I open the table of contents is described, "Creating Magic: How does a writer make a world out of words?" Well, instantly, I'm intrigued. This has been something on the forefront of my mind lately. I am actually fairly new to the world of fiction. I loved it as a kid, but again, somewhere after my life became a "plan", I lost the point of it. During my college years, I started reading books on serial murder and the paranormal (which I still love), and I started to form the belief that fiction was, in fact, pointless. I mean why make up stories when there are so many crazy things that really happen? Imagine how crazy it was when I opened a book a couple of days ago that my husband suggested I read (I actually just grabbed it to use as a prop in my photos, but got sucked into it upon sight of the first word) and after only the first few pages read the line, "What's the use of stories that aren't even true?"

Let me interrupt here to say I no longer follow this deceptive line of thinking, thanks to one of my former students. He was reading 1984 for school, and so I thought, what a great way to supplement my reading instruction, I will read it with him! Well, of course, I ended up reading it cover to cover, and he maybe got through 30 pages! But it was like this awakening. I looked forward to reading everyday. I mean, I used to look forward to reading my Zodiac books, and don't get me started on my Ted Bundy books, but this was different. I actually missed being there. I wanted to get back to Oceania. And, when I then read The Neverending Story, I couldn't wait to get back to Fantastica. And, with To Kill A Mockingbird, Maycomb County. And, like that, my understanding of the "point" of fiction was restored.

Ever since then, I have wondered if maybe I could write fiction. I used to do it all the time as a kid. I preferred scary stories and mysteries back then. But now I am drawn to fantastic tales of magic and beauty. I would LOVE to recreate a world as imaginative and inviting as Fantastica (Fantasia is the name they adapted for the movie, if you were wondering). And, this is why I was intrigued with my latest book, Haroun and the Sea of Stories, as it tells the story of a storyteller; and with the article in O.

In the article, three notable writers are quoted. The most amazing of which is Toni Morrison. Of course, everyone knows Toni Morrison is this accomplished writer. But, after reading her words, it's not just fluff, not even close. The woman is spot on with her connection to the text. The funny thing is her words echo my thoughts about photography. Since I've started this blog project I noticed that up until the moment I take the photo (and up until the moment I start writing), I have no clue what the result will be. None. In fact, I actually felt guilty about one photo because it just sort of happened. But that is what brought me to the acknowledgment that we, as humans, don't create. The creation flows through us. Almost like a spirit overtaking your body, but not in an intrusive way. The trick is to allow it to enter. You can't force creativity. And, as long as you appreciate the Source, you won't have to.

Toni Morrison said, "What I feel most is that because I am open and available, the universe- the idea- comes to me." Gotta get some of her books next...



Here is an example of a fictional setting! As you other Floridians know, it was a bright beautiful day today, so I had to manufacture this fake rain. I'm not thoroughly thrilled with the outcome, but I think this is definitely an idea I'd like to continue improving upon.

Weighing the dark with the light...

Today was a day of contrasts. It started out in the negative. Highly negative. Sometimes, living in this world, you get a glimpse of the horror that humans can create. I had a glimpse of that last night. A glimpse so black that it carried over to this morning. Driving to work, my mind raced just wondering how this fact could be possible. In fact, I was so stuck in my mind, I didn't even realize that my radio was off for 10 minutes. My radio is always on when I'm driving.

Driving home, I slipped right back into my funk, and woke up about half way home when, again, I realized that the trees looker greener and the sky bluer than I'd ever seen. It felt strange looking at how beautiful the world is but at the very same time feeling like this black cloud floating through it. I guess then I decided not to dwell on questions I will never be able to answer. The whys and the hows keep you from enjoying the highs and the wows. You can analyze a leaf to death, but it's still a leaf. So, why analyze life? It is what it is, good and bad. Of course, I don't doubt I will still have dark days. But knowing that I can pull myself out of them is a pretty powerful thing.

I went home after that and took a nap on the couch (since the "darkness" kept me up all last night). When I awoke, I felt as though I had slept for hours, instead of just one. The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was the sunlight coming through the leaves out the window. And I was excited. I jumped up, grabbed my camera and ran outside.

Even though there are some harrowing depths out there, it's comforting to know that light always gets through.

An addendum.

In answer to the question about my bottle collection from my last post...



I picked up these bottles at the Shrimp Festival in Fernandina year before last. I love anything old, but old bottles for some reason are so cool to me. So I decided to paint them and hang them from the trees in our backyard. This became quite an endeavor. I thought painting them on the inside would be best so that rain and dirt wouldn't ruin the paint. I thought- I'll just pour the paint in, swish it around, pour out the excess, and whamo! But no. Nothing is ever as easy as it seems when it comes to art projects. The first paint I used- a glass paint- was so translucent, you could hardly see it. The second was better, but still wouldn't coat entirely so I had to break my paintbrush all funky to get in through the opening and reach the creases at the top and bottom and stop to blow it dry with a hairdryer every few minutes (otherwise all the paint fell to the bottom and none would stick to the sides). Then after having them on the trees for a week or so, I realized- Hey! Rain water can fall in through that little hole in the top! Der. So I had to get corks for them. Rain still gets in through the cork though, so I have to drain them every once in a while.

So, in short, it was a process, but I love them! I used copper wire to hang them from the branches, being careful to hang them from differing heights to ensure that they wouldn't be able to swing into each other with all our fierce wind storms here in Florida. And, so far, so good. None have broken and they've stayed put! I hope to start working on our other trees soon!

Thanks for asking!!!

Soaking up the silence...

In honor of the first day of summer yesterday, I created a compilation of summer photos. Summer has always been a favorite of mine because it means pool time and beach days. This summer, however, has brought about two new traditions that I not just look forward to, but get really excited about- lemonade and reading in my new hammock. It was my 30th birthday present from my husband. (The hammock, not the lemonade.) Some people might be happy to receive a new purse or jewelry from their husband on their birthday. My husband got me the greatest gift for me- more time outside.

Today as I was sitting in my hammock reading an amazing new book that my husband lent me (more blogs about that to come for sure), I started to notice everything around me. For some reason, the sky looked bluer and the grass looked greener than I'd ever seen it before. I stopped reading for a moment and listened... to some distant classic rock music from the house down the street, to my neighbor, Bob, talking with my husband in the front yard, to a helicopter flying overhead. I listened to all those things, and to nothing at all. Sometimes I think silence is the best medicine. We get so little of it anymore. We're either in the car with the radio on, in the house with the tv on, or just plain talking too much.

The best stress relief to me is not rest or watching tv or eating ice cream, it's being outside and being quiet. Cell phones away, computers away. Just by myself. I heard somewhere recently that some people stay so busy because they are unable to just sit with themselves. They just can't do it, even for a minute. Maybe that's true. I don't know. But I do know that my backyard is as healing for me as any far off destination I could ever travel to.


Top (l-r): my bottle collection; my new birthday present; my latest companion.
Bottom (l-r): Bellamy smelling a blade of grass; reading- my favorite pastime; an evening thunderstorm.

Feeling the love...

Today I was in love. Everyday I am in love, but today was one of those days where it was just oozing out of me like a volcano I couldn't control. I was sad when I had to go to work. I wished I had a job where I could just be home all day and be in love. It's an amazing thing when you realize that the person you are looking at is really not a person at all. You marvel at the beauty of their eyes, their skin, their smile, until you realize that that's not what it is that's so beautiful you just can't stand it. It's their spirit. And, it's heartbreaking when you realize how limited we are in expressing our love. According to Shakira, there are ten million ways to love somebody. I'd guess there are more, but it still feels like it's not enough. Like when I hear a No Doubt song played live and I just can't seem to jump high enough or scream loud enough. Like when I read a story so good I wish I could just jump right into it, but I can't. Or when I see a tree so magnificent I want to live in it's branches, but I have to stay on the ground. I can't wait til the day I get to leave the confines of this body and really express my spirit. Until then, I will appreciate the confines and their beauty. And I will do so with my photography.

Here is a picture of my favorite confines. Enough said.

Following my innate path...

My 3 year old niece had her first dance recital tonight, and the whole time I was sitting there watching these kids perform I was sad thinking that whatever their dreams are right now- whether to be a dancer or a mathematician- they probably will never reach fruition. I found an old journal recently that I kept when I was young. In it, I had listed all my possible future careers. Among them were photographer, pilot, and author. This was astounding to me, because before two years ago, I had never thought of becoming a photographer. But somehow I knew back then, before I even had the drive behind it, that it was something I wanted to do. Same thing with aviation. I flew my first plane 2 or 3 years ago, but had only gotten the itch to do it a matter of months before. How did I know at that early point in time, when I had no interest in it, that one day I would want to be a pilot??
The writing I do remember clearly, though. I wrote my first story when I was 5- "The Fruit Store" it was called. And, ever since then I wanted to be a writer. That is until I transferred to a college prep school in the fifth grade where my new friends started asking me what college I wanted to go to and what I wanted to study. Suddenly I was expected to plan out my whole life at age 10. So I did. Predictably, after one semester of college, that plan was already out the window, and I was left terrified. I had had this life map etched out in stone, and now it was no more. So I grabbed at any possible career path. Which would I be most likely to get a job in? Which would make the most money?? Which major was offered at a school nearest my current boyfriend??? But never did I stop and think: Dewin, what do you want to do with this life you've been blessed with? Until now.

And, the answer? Exactly what I knew when I was five. Before the "world" got in the way. I have been working to recapture that voice inside that tells me which way to go. The voice that is unadulterated by "what-ifs" and "impossibilities". And right now that voice tells me to take pictures of everything and write and read. These are the things that bring me unspeakable joy. A joy that lets me know I am following the right path.

These were the thoughts going through my head during the recital. (This photo, by the way, is not of my niece. All hers came out blurred of course!) I messed around with filters on this one. I tried so many I can't even remember which this one was, but it was some kind of graining. I just hope it expresses that freedom of youth to dream big, to not be blinded by expectations and dollar signs. I hope my niece is able to hold on to that as an adult.

Finding a voice...

Today I got angry. That in itself is not a novel exciting thing. But getting angry and letting it go- I mean literally releasing its weight minutes later- is something I have never, I mean NEVER, experienced before tonight. Thanks to my friend, I have been working on my anger for the last couple of weeks, and with the lending of her positive energy, I have made considerable leaps.

I started this photo as a visual for my anger, but in the process, came out with something much more beautiful that to me shows strength. It is the passage of my voice- a voice that recognizes anger and speaks it, but does not own it or take it on as a part. It comes, it passes. And, that is a beautiful thing.

Keeping the faith...

I am so excited! Today I finally purchased my very first tripod!!! No more building elaborate pillars of magazines and phone books to get shots!!!! I was so excited, I opened it up and played with it as soon as I walked in the door. My idea going to work tonight was to play with light and shadow, something I haven't done much of. (Fear number three checked off!) So, I started out using lamps and overhead light but I just wasn't getting the kind of feel I was looking for. So at a loss, I walked around my house for some inspiration, when it came to me- candlelight! So I grabbed my shiny new tripod and a lighter and tried not to burn the house down. The following photo is the result.

I liked this shot, not only because of its Mexican vibe, but also because I felt it tells a good story with a good moral. To me it depicts the fact that the light of hope can make your faith grow (hence the larger cross of the shadow). Maybe I'm reaching, but that's what it says to me. What does it say to you?!

Making new friends...

So I was walking out to my car to get my Mraz cd this morning to listen to whilst I demoed our front room for my new studio, and I saw a gorgeous little dragonfly chillin on one of our bushes. I went inside to get my camera assuming by the time I got back, he'd be gone. But, to my surprise, he was still there. So I stood behind a bush and got some shots of him using my macro setting, and went inside to check em out. They were good, but not great. So, again assuming he'd be gone, I went back out. He was still there. This time I got a bit closer and zoomed in real good on him. As I shot him, he winked at me! After I felt I had gotten some good ones, I went inside to check. Then I thought, that was fun maybe I'll take some more. When I went outside, he was still there, but had moved to one of our garlic plants. This time he let me get all up in his grill and I would take a few shots, then he'd fly up and reposition himself on the plant and I'd take some more. I swear he was modeling for me. He had the prettiest blue eyes. I hope they represent well in this photo. Never thought I would meet a new friend in my own front yard!

Acknowledging "faults"...

As I said in my last post, I cannot promise that each of my daily photos will be good, but they will represent my growth as a photographer, and hopefully as a person. So part of becoming a better photographer, I am learning, is facing my fears. I am reading a book right now called, Coaching the Artist Within, by Eric Maisel, Ph. D. In my reading last night, he talked about how dangerous it is for an artist to side with one part of any "duality". The one that spoke to me the most was the duality between simplicity and complexity. I have always told myself that I am more interested in creating work that is simplistic, because I have always felt that beauty is in the simple things. I feel the same way about all things from a drumbeat to an sunset. But in dedicating myself to that one "side", I have been cheating myself of opportunities to tell new stories through my work.

This made me realize that I had been so tied to this idea of simplicity simply due to my fears of 1) learning to use Photoshop and 2) not being as good as other photographers at it. So, time to move on. No more allowing my fears to limit my work. So, after about 5 hours of frustration and hair pulling (ending in about 20 minutes of Craig figuring out how to use it and showing me), I have begun to crack the code of Photoshop layers. This photo is one that I have had in my head for about 6 years, and it is not even near how I imagined it. But it's a start. The story behind it is my nose. It was always my least favorite feature. In fact, I actually put down a thousand dollars to change it once. Until I realized it was one of the few features linking me to my Mayan ancestors. This is definitely one I want to improve upon, but here are my first efforts at "complexity", also known as Photoshop layering.

Turning over a new leaf...

Ok, so stomach rumblings, crying spells, and general uneasiness have made it quite clear to me that I have been neglecting to give my creativity an outlet lately. Jobs and "time constraints" have been my excuse, but they were only a ruse for an ever-present, shape-shifting enemy known as self-doubt. But we all know what my favorite motto is- no doubt. So, now that I have recognized my ego's version of self-deprecation (I've been watching way too much Dawson's Creek apparently!), I am now focused on one thing- how to fix this?

Well, after looking at several different photographers' work online last night, I started to think. I have always been in awe of photographers who can take a seemingly mundane, everyday object and make it beautiful through their composition. So why can't I?

In order to refine my eye, and save my sanity, I am dedicating myself to taking pictures every day. In the back of my mind, I kept thinking I just need to go to Africa or Zimbabwe or Indonesia to get some amazing shots. That's fear if I ever heard it. Screw that. I will take shots in my backyard and make them beautiful. Heck, you may even see a shot of my garbage can. I am on a mission. Since my job schedule literally keeps me from being able to frequent state parks like I would prefer, I will use this time to find beauty in the things I see every day.

So, in line with Project 365, which my fellow photographer/cabinet maker/mail collector/motorcycle junkie friend Bob informed me of, I will be doing my own project here. Though I haven't labeled it with a dramatic title yet- I don't quite know how to shorten the Get Off My Butt and Take Pictures Project- here goes.

Every day you can check out a new shot here on my blog (save for next month when I'm in Chicago watching No Doubt!) along with the thought process behind it!! Comments are welcome, but not necessary. I promise no greatness, but I do promise growth. Enjoy!!



So this was taken in my back yard of a leaf with some interesting mold formations on it. My goal in taking this and several other shots was to find naturally formed lines. These were cool because they were really intricate- almost like spiderwebs. I also liked it because it looked like snow in my back yard! I wish.

New photos!!!!

I just posted some of the photos I took from Tara & Bryan's wedding on my myspace page. I also made a couple folders public that have some promo shots of craig and shots of Donavon and the guys performing. So go check em out!!!

www.myspace.com/dewindesigns