Avoiding Uncle Walter...

I was so incredibly inspired by the State of the Union address tonight. I gotta say that parts of it felt much like the days when I was in first grade and the teacher would gather all of us around and give us a talk about how we should be nice to each other and I would get that burning feeling in my gut cause I was in trouble. And, let me also say that we deserved it. But, at the very same time that I was appreciating his talk, I was disgusted at the fact that he actually had to spend the entire country's valuable time on such elementary crap. How ridiculous that we all had to be chided for our infantile behavior. But everyone's so damned focused on all the adult stuff, we don't have time to remember the lessons we learned in elementary school. When did we all get so hateful? It is just like Conan O'Brien said in his final address as the host of The Tonight Show. Cynicism is useless.

We have created a new American value of sitting back lazily on our morals and playing couch coach to the world. I no more know how to govern the country than my dog knows how to drive a car. In fact, nobody really knows. It's got to be the most difficult job in existence. But I sure respect the man who gives it a try. And, even more, I respect the one who does so honestly.

There's a song by Ben Folds Five about a friend's uncle who likes to spout off on his views of the world and its events from his LaZBoy recliner. It's a hilarious take on what we've all become. I don't know about the rest of the country, but I don't want to be an Uncle Walter. And, for that reason alone, I put my trust in our President.


UNCLE WALTER

Your Uncle Walter's going on and on
'bout everything he's seen and done.
The voice of fifty years experience,
he's drunk watching the television.
You know he's been around the world;
last night he flew to Baghdad
in his magical armchair,
with cigarettes and a six pack.
Yeah, he just got back;
the spit's flying everywhere.

Your Uncle Walter's going on and on.
Where did you go that you were gone so long?
And how could you leave me here
so long with Uncle Walter?

Your Uncle Walter saw
who fired the shots;
he drove his chair in the cavalcade.
He's flown from South Africa to
countries where they beat themselves
on the backs with chains.
There was a fleet of battleships
and one reclining chair
headed north on the Arabian Sea.
Now he's back to tell us what
he and his oldest boy Blair,
they're getting rich with
a mail order scheme.

Your Uncle Walter's going on and on.
Where did you go that you were gone so long?
And how could you leave me here
so long with Uncle Walter?

Your Uncle Walter told me
everything he'd do if he was president.
Now what a perfect world
this world would be
if he was president now.
But he's not.



Michael James. The raddest ship in the ship yard. Also the only one not on the water. My time with Michael James was important to me because it was the first time I had balls enough to walk onto private property and snap photos, waving to the men giving me weird looks as I drove away as though I belonged there. I now know that being a photographer requires you to be part spy, which luckily, is also the part time job of a writer. But no worries, I learned from the master- HarrieT!