Adjusting...

It is common custom in America to gain a few pounds during the holidays. A little turkey at Thanksgiving here, a little chocolate at Christmas there, a huge New Year's feast on your thighs, and your celebrating is complete. This is normal for me, as is the disappearance of the resulting weight by the time I celebrate Valentine's Day with some sushi. However, though I was wisely warned of the Freshman 15, no one alerted me of the Turning Thirty 10, or the fact that after 30, it is completely impossible to get the weight off. Apparently after 30, former rules don't apply.

Ok, I thought, no big deal, I'll just start up my regimen of sit-ups before bed and sit-sit-sit those extra pounds right off. But after a month of my usually successful repertoire, nothing. In fact, I was gaining more weight. Alright, no worries, I'll borrow some exercise videos from a friend and start Taeboing it with Billy Blanks. But after a month of side kicks, no such luck. Then, I concluded, this being 30 calls for the big guns, and so I took up running which I have not done seriously since college. Add a day of profuse vomiting due to food poisoning and two days of not wanting to go near food, and hey, I'm halfway there! (That last part was a compete joke by the way. Well, kind of.)

The point being that regardless of how long system A may have worked just fine, we have to constantly make adjustments. Today I got an angry call from someone unhappy with my job performance based on her student's grades. At first I was angry, becoming immediately defensive. But then I asked myself- why is she so upset? Because the is didn't match the should. In other words, life did not meet her expectations. I can't fault anyone for that, because it's human nature to be disappointed when things don't go the way you had hoped. But what do we do when our expectations aren't met? We adjust.

Today I had the extreme privilege of hearing Dave Pelzer speak. He presents himself completely differently than in his books. I know several years have passed since their publication, but either I read him quite wrong or he has changed. He was overwhelmingly confident in his words, and I loved it! So much in fact that I took down several pages of possible blog thoughts from his two hour speech. It was a blog writer's paradise! Plus, I knew I was in the right place at the right time, listening to a very wise man, when he made reference to Gwen Stefani's song Whatcha Waitin' For?!! I have definitely been so inspired by that song, and apparently so has Dave!

The thing about Dave is he is all about his saying- no abuse excuse, and instead of spending his time filling our heads and hearts with the tragedies that befell him, he summed up his message in two words- Be Happy. He then lengthened it to 3 words- Be Happy Now. And then to 4- Be Happy Now Dammit. Listening to him, you don't feel sorrow, though I lost it the second I walked out the doors. You don't feel hatred or disgust. I don't even know that I would classify what I felt as inspiration per se. You just feel closure, like everything makes sense. Like everything really comes together for a reason, and it's all gonna be alright. If I can shake the hand of a man who is "not supposed to be here", as he puts it, then it's all gonna be alright.

I will admit I did cringe the first time he made a joke about his deranged mother, and felt odd when he breezed on about the details of his abuse as though he were outlining the latest Jennifer Aniston movie. But something about it calms you inside. He's not faking. He is the walking definition of forgiveness and acceptance. Funny then, I suppose, that my husband and I ended up watching Dead Man Walking this evening. It just brings me back to that place in my mind that tries to figure out how and why despicable things happen, as though this will somehow make it all make sense. Well, there are dark, dark blacknesses lurking all around every goodness, within it really. But even though it doesn't match the picture I have created in my mind, though it doesn't meet my expectations, like Dave and like everyone else, I adjust. And, it just so happens I really enjoy my runs now!


My niece being happy now!