Taking it step by step...

Writing Retreat Day Three:

One of the most, if not the most, typically played out stories is the coming-of-age tale that follows an individual on his journey through growth to maturity. Well, my coming-of-age story played out in the span of the past 24 hours. As those of you who follow this blog may know, my early life was framed by a rigid unwillingness to take risk. I didn't walk with my head up until I was 6. I didn't learn to ride a bike until 12. I never learned to raise my hand in class. Risk equals ridicule. Until today. Today, risk equaled amazing interaction with life at all levels- interaction with others, with my work, with myself.

I am lucky enough to have somehow picked up a sponsor here at the retreat. Whether he sensed something in me immediately that needed to be pushed or he just enjoys watching me make a fool of myself, my new friend doesn't make suggestions, he tells me- you are going to do this. I love it. I crave it. And it's not that I need permission, but that I need to be reminded that I can. I am capable. So today I met with four different experts- an author, an agent, and two editors (one from Penguin, one from Random House)- and discussed my writing. It still amazes me to even say it. It brings back visions of dewin, the quiet one, trying out for the cheerleading team in junior high. All were shocked, most of all me. In addition to this, I actually raised my hand in our Q & A session tonight. (Because my friend told me I was going to.) Surprisingly and not-so-surprisingly, it didn't hurt and no one laughed. His next challenge for me is tomorrow when I will read a selection of fiction to the entire group of 20+ people and have it critiqued. After today, though, I am excited about it!

One of the things that each of these experts expressed to me was the importance of taking things step by step. To build up skill. To build a foundation. A couple of them asked, "What brought you here?" And, I think it is precisely that, literally and figuratively. It has taken many tiny steps for me to get to this point in my life. I remember being afraid of doing my first art show. Now it's nothing. I remember being afraid of first publishing this blog for all to see. Well, truthfully, I'm still pretty scared about that, but not as much! I remember being afraid of my first photo shoot, my first tutoring student. I remember being afraid of the publishing process- this morning. But now that I see that agents have a face- a kind one, that editors are just people- who go for runs, that other authors experience rejection too- a lot, the fears slip away on their own. And, beneath it all, everyone out there just wants to help you. Thank you, by the way, to all my newest blog followers! ;)


Icicles outside my bedroom window! I could probably make some metaphor here about fear melting away, but I'll spare you.