***This is a continuation of my previous post.***
In thinking more about the meaning behind The Falling Man, I have come to believe that it lies much deeper than the simple fear of our own mortality.
I often think about pregnancy and am fearful about the process of giving birth. Well, not so much the process as the pain it brings. It seems unfair. You get pregnant for the first time having no idea of what you're getting yourself into, yet once you are pregnant, there is no way out. You can't change your mind. You have to give birth. This terrifies me. Somehow reminding myself that millions upon billions of women have done this before me for centuries does not make the task any less daunting. Life is the same. Without even being asked (at least not that I can remember), we are thrown into this world with not a single clue as to what's in store. And once we are here, we are dying. There is no other option.
We live in such a transient world. Things are constantly changing. We go to school, we graduate. We get together, we break up. We get jobs, we lose jobs. There is a way out of almost everything. If we're not happy with some aspect of our lives, we change it. If we're not happy with the direction we're traveling, we turn the car around. If we're not happy with our surroundings, we move. If we're not happy with our spouse, we get a divorce.
But, the one thing we cannot escape is death. Each of us faces it everyday, just as The Falling Man faced it before our eyes. The only difference is he knew his options. Die of suffocation or of impact. He was given a clear-cut choice. In our day-to-day life, we are not so lucky. We are left in the dark as to how we will pass. Of course, we all hope to be the warm old elderly person who passes in his sleep. But we can't all go so peacefully. There are an infinite number of ways we might leave this earth. But regardless, we are stuck with the exact same decision as The Falling Man- to allow circumstance to take us or to assume control and choose our own means. Either way we're going.
I often blog about man's lack of control and the resulting fear. I think this example is the ultimate feeling of helplessness. No matter how hard we've worked, no matter how many people need us, no matter how much we want to stay, one day we will be gone. Death stares over our shoulders as a constant reminder that we cannot attach ourselves too tightly to anything, for one day it will disappear. We have no say. This is the meaning of The Falling Man. He represents the choice we hold. He begs us to ask ourselves which is better- to take control of our final destiny or to passively wait for its eventual arrival, and he reminds us that either way, we have no real choice.
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15 hours ago
6 comments:
Your perceptions about the Falling Man are interesting. When I saw the photo and heard about the people jumping from the Twin Towers, I didn't consider those deaths suicides. Those people were dead NO MATTER WHAT. It was simply a choice of how they were going to die. I imagine the heat from the airplane fuel burning and the fire was intolerable. They couldn't get down. The heat was so intense. So the choice was burning alive or jumping. It was death either way. It was not suicide. If my father had been in that building and he had to choose between being burned alive or falling. I would tell him to jump. It is instant. I can't imagine the torture of the heat coming torward you and then the fire consuming you. It is sad that those people couldn't see THAT. Sometimes, life gives you no good choices. You will die today. It is the coward that stands on the top of the roof watching the flames inch closer and closer. The heat becoming intolerable. His skin feels like it is on fire and still he cannot lift his foot off the roof to ease his own suffering. Instead, he dies a thousand deaths before the flames grab him and he dies in agony. That person lived through an hour of pain and agony to end up equally dead. A coward dies a thousand deaths. A hero only once.
I agree. The saddest part is that the people who condemn those who fell don't take the time that you did to even consider what the alternative must've been like. Who can possibly say what is "right" in that situation when they haven't experienced anything remotely close? It reminds me of the story of Alive when the soccer team's plane crashed in the Andes and they were stuck there for months. When they returned home people condemned them for partaking in cannibalism. Their only other option was death as well. And anyone who would pass judgment on someone in that dire a situation is just afraid to face the fact that they would have most likely done the same.
I haven't read the Esquire piece yet, so I don't know if he addresses this, but I've got a completely different perception of those who jumped...
In college, one of my favorite professors also taught a class on the sociology of death and dying and we had a really great conversation about this one day in office hours...
One of man's (man as in humankind) greatest fears is burning. It's an instinct to not get too close to fire. Think of yourself as a very small child, the stove probably didn't scare you, but an open charcoal BBQ grill probably wasn't what you wanted to be poking at. It's the same in the animal world...living things are naturally afraid of fire and terrified of burning.
When you're completely surrounded by something you are genetically programed to fear (fire), most people will not be able to center themselves and think logically, you think second by second, you lose your ability to plan and reason...so your options aren't "die painfully in the fire" or "die by falling to the street," your choices are "stay in the fire" or "jump out of the fire." Most of the people that jumped were very likely just thinking and deciding step by step...they chose to jump, not necessarily to fall...as in they chose to get out of the fire the only way possible, but were just truly unable to think about what would happen in the moment after that decision was acted on.
BUT, I do 100% agree with you in your overall point. Death is the one thing we can't choose our way out of, and I think its a disgrace when people judge anyone else for a choice they make no matter how big or small simply because they have no way to really know how or why that person made that decision. I think the reason people get so judgmental about suicide is because if they make it something bad and something that the deceased incorrectly chose, then they have freed themselves of any blame or shame. They free themselves of the guilt of thinking, "was there something I could have done" because the dead did something wrong.
Wow, awesome comments Cara! I never took a class on death and dying but I really wish I had. That is an extremely excellent point about fire. Somebody posted a comment recently on a guest blog I did and talked about self-preservation. I think what you said goes along with that. People will "preserve themselves", even if it means dying.
Ok I've had a chance to read the article now. Wow. I could only dream of being able to write like that.
Towards the end of the article he asks if calling these families to see if they know what their lost ones' were wearing and what they know about their last moments on earth would be cruel, if it would be forcing pain onto them. And yes, it could...but not necessarily. If I had lost someone, I would want to know. I would not hold jumping against them, because I know it could have been instinctual. I might even admire them for their bravery of choice like Robin said. And even though finding out that they jumped wouldn't change anything, they are still gone, it would be a bit of a comfort. I would be able to say, "Oh, that's just like him. Brave and strong and taking his life in his own hands right up until the end."
I understand not wanting to hurt people more, but how can you ignore the plausibility that it might give a living person that one last contact with that special person in their life that they have been missing for nine years?
I am definitely a "need to know" person. I would want to know what happened. I also tried to put myself in the place of that girl. If that were my father's picture how would I feel? I think I would be sad because it does feel like this intensely intimate moment that we as strangers are peering in on, but at the same time, I would want my father's story to be heard. And if that means having it told through a photograph, then that is how it would be.
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