Meeting with myself...

One of the areas I work with my students on is study strategies.  I try to help them to organize all of their obligations in a way that breaks down the larger tasks into smaller, more manageable and less stressful ones.  I was thinking about some of my students this morning and how I wish there were something I could do to make them follow through with some of these tasks because I know their lives would be so much easier.  I just couldn't understand why they wouldn't just do it.  Until something clicked and I realized that I do, in fact, understand.

So, this afternoon I set up a very important meeting- with myself.  I want to stop wasting time and get focused on my photography, art, and writing.  So, me, myself, and I had a little strategizing session and came up with some short-term goals.  I realized that I have been frozen because, like my students, I am overwhelmed by the work ahead of me.   I look at someone else's photos, for example, and think- there's no way I can learn all those techniques.  I read someone else's writing, and think- I wish I could put my thoughts together like that.  I see another's artwork and cringe, simultaneously thinking I could do that and I would have never been able to put that together.  It's infuriating.  So, instead I watch tv.  I stress about work.  I make up a whole litany of responsibilities to distract myself- I have to go grocery shopping; I have to clean out the garage; I have to buy Christmas presents.  Well, true as these may be, there is something else more important to me.

My life coach teaches the importance of spouses meeting a few times a year to discuss where they are and where they want to be in a year, five years, ten years, and come up with goals to get them there.  This is exactly what I did, only with myself.  I grabbed my laptop, a notebook, and a pen and went outside where I could be out of my usual comfort zone of the house.  I began by listing my three focus areas: art, writing, and photography, and listing every single idea of how I could incorporate them into my life more that came to mind without censor.  From these, I created a short list of goals that I can start with today and that will break up my long-term goals into manageable morsels.  For instance, I have subscribed to a daily prompts email list to encourage me to write something, anything, daily.  It will take the pressure off knowing I don't have to come up with the topic myself.  And, maybe something more will spring from one of them.  As for my photography, I have decided to take one night a week to just google new photography techniques and see what I find.  With art, I would like to try sketching some pieces before jumping into working on them, which stresses me out.


After listing everything and writing it all down, I felt as though a weight had been lifted.  Now it all seems so easy.  In fact, I was so relieved, my excuse barrier shattered, that I came into my office and cleaned off my art table and organized my writing materials and about a half million other things that I've put off for over a year.  I also took a risk and emailed a really talented local photographer and asked him to meet me for coffee so I could pick his brain.  I really want to reach out for support, and stop feeling like I'm doing this on my own.  

I stopped by Ashes' Boutique today at the beach, where I have some of my photos and artwork on consignment.  I hadn't been in close to a year.  I fully expected her to have my stuff in a box in the storage room out back.  Instead, it was lying in different areas throughout the shop.  I asked her if she wanted me to take them all, but she said no, that she loved them and thinks they are beautiful.  It just gave me the renewed spirit and encouragement I needed to continue.  It's very easy to give in to the "what's the point" voice in your head.  Lucky for me, mine has been quieted, if only for a day.

Possibilities.