Invoking Chopra...

I read a wonderful article today by one of my favorite writers- Deepak Chopra.  The title, "Why Worry is a Choice", immediately grabbed my attention because it was almost a direct response to my recent post, Self-imposing.  What's funny is his answer to my issues of self-created misery is something that I had actually written in my very next post, Demanding.  Just like with my example of freaking out about an upcoming meeting, Chopra says, "Life is always uncertain, and until you can embrace this fact, you will imagine risks, dangers, and threats that never materialize. Yet, suffering in your imagination is just as painful—perhaps more painful—since dealing with a crisis is always easier than waiting for one in a state of dread."  In fact, he writes that "anxious people dread themselves more than their imaginary dangers."  

So, number one: embrace that life is always uncertain.  To do this, we must embrace not only that life is not perfect, but that we ourselves are not perfect, which brings to mind something that my writing friend wrote me recently.  "Goals and plans to achieve them are great. They are only a problem when so much importance is put on a single plan that you start to think that short term success is required to achieve a long term goal.  In other words, you have to build failure into your short term plan."  I think this is such a cool concept.  Hardly ever do we plan for failure or uncertainty.  Chopra furthers my friend's comments by saying, "Negatives [Failures] can be useful if they show you what you are moving away from, but they're not useful if you use them to fuel your self-judgment, since self-judgment is the root of the problem."

One thing I love about Chopra is that he doesn't offer just one point of view, his words come from his extensive background knowledge of several cultures and religions.  For instance, he says, "Many spiritual traditions speak of separation as the real cause of human misery.  People are divided inside.  With anxiety, the strong part of the self is at war with the weak part."  I definitely felt this when I was stressing about my meeting.  Part of me was thinking- I know this is going to be bad, while another part was thinking- you are overreacting and being stupid. This internal argument, then, caused even more anxiety and anger at myself, because I was doing exactly what I wrote about in Demanding: focusing on the trivial details instead of my true meaning.  "Anxious people never settle this inner conflict. They are so divided that when they feel afraid, the weak part is "the real me." When they are not afraid, the strong part is "the real me." In fact, neither is the real self. The real self is beyond conflict; it is whole and at peace. So the long-term approach to anxiety is to rise above the inner war to find a self that is more whole." 

So, number two: stay connected to the whole, true self.  I have my methods of doing this.  One is going to state parks, just being outside period.  But I can't really do that at work.  Chopra suggests taking 10 minutes to be by yourself and simply breathe.  But for some, he says, this can cause its own anxiety.  "Anxious people misjudge being alone. They identify it with fear, loneliness, and insecurity. That's perfectly understandable given their history of fear. But being alone is your ground state, the basis of your existence. It's not your enemy." 

He pretty much sums up our entire society in his description of the avoidance tactics we use to disregard fear.  "For anxious people, fear is actually a kind of solution.  It keeps the person vigilant. It gives the feeling of being concerned, engaged, and busy. And since fear is unwelcome, it drives people into all kinds of escapist activities. Every distraction from alcohol and drugs to television and movies is constantly available. It's no surprise that millions of people would rather accommodate their lives to being afraid rather than seeking authentic healing."

So, number three: stop creating distractions.  My avoidance strategy is to create busyness where there is none.  I can put a stop to this by balancing my work schedule, only checking my work email at specific times of day, letting calls go to voice mail, organizing my time better, and scheduling time to do absolutely nothing.

In the conclusion, Chopra states that, like most things, it is best to work on anxiety one day at a time.  "Happiness is built up by having good days, not by reaching for an unattainable ideal in the future."


If you would like to read the article in its entirety, which includes a helpful checklist, you can follow this link:

Why Worry Is A Choice